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Friends United Meeting |
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January/February 2001
Talking Among Friends
By Douglas Bennett
Over a year ago, Earlham School of Religion published Among Friends, the report of consultations with Friends concerning the condition of Friends in the U.S. today. The report was based on 25 focus groups and three dozen in depth interviews with Quakers across the theological spectrum and across the United States.
More than 1200 copies are now in circulation. Friends across the United States have been encouraged to read and talk about the report, to use it as an aid for starting discussions about the current situation of Quakerism. What are our challenges? What are our opportunities? At Earlham we see publication of Among Friends not as the completion of a project but rather as one step in opening a dialogue among Friends about who we are as Quakers and who we want to become.
Over the past year, we have sponsored nearly a dozen discussions of Among Friends among Friends across the country. Some have been part of Yearly Meeting sessions: discussions at New England, Baltimore and Western Yearly Meetings, for example. Others have been sponsored by Quaker study and retreat centers: Pendle Hill in Philadelphia, and Friends Center in Greensboro, North Carolina. And some have been hosted by Friends churches or meetings extending a broad invitation to their neighboring communities (Marshalltown, Iowa; Whittier, California; Portland, Oregon). At each gathering, we have invited Quakers to share their reactions to the report. What does it say that is important? What do Friends think is missing from the report? What do they think is worth emphasizing? What needs correction? We sent a note taker from the Earlham School of Religion to each of these discussions. Here is some feedback on what we have been hearing.
We have talked about our worries. The report speaks candidly about some difficulties within the Religious Society of Friends today. Our membership numbers are declining. We often feel stuck or stagnant in our ministry and witness. And there are significant differences we allow to divide us. Each of the discussions spent some time addressing these worries. Sometimes participants felt weighted down by the recognition of these negatives. Some complained that Among Friends focused too much on these difficulties. Others were glad for the occasion to look them squarely in the eye. Each of the discussions sank for a time into worrying, but each group found its way back to focusing on our positives and our possibilities.
We should see Quakers as "still standing," not just "standing still," suggested one California Friend, adding, "God's spirit can break us loose." Another participant said, "We're asking the wrong questions. We should ask how we can move forward."
We have talked about our spiritual strengths. At every gathering participants felt compelled to voice deep spiritual strengths brought to worship among Friends.
A Friend at the Whittier gathering agreed with an insight that "Friends are those who have the most uncluttered relationship to God." A Friend at the Greensboro gathering observed, "If we could just 'walk our talk,' the power would be so great Friends would be unstoppable." Friends at all locations spoke about the importance of living our faith and of taking "a sacramental approach to living." "Are we too acculturated?" asked a Friend in New England.
Several participants resonated with the phrasing--"Quakerism is a simple faith and a radical witness." An Iowa Friend said, "The world today more than ever needs our testimonies of peace, simplicity, and equality, and our practice of silence and reflection." Said another, "Our core teaching--that of God in every person--is transforming."
We have talked about leadership. Leadership is one major focus of Among Friends, and each of the gatherings spent some significant time talking about the gifts and paradoxes, the strengths and confusions Quakers bring to the topic of leadership.
Everywhere Friends want to affirm the same beginning points for thinking about leadership. "Direct experience of God is the core of Quaker worship." "All are called to ministry." "Leadership is 'the process of affirming revelations,' as the 'release of gifts without confines.'" A Friend in California voiced an understanding we heard echoed again and again: "Christ is our leader, but are we being led? Are we listening? It is a question of faithfulness." A Friend in Indiana made much the same point in urging that "the crux of a healthy view of leadership lies in accepting fully the connection between the theology of lordship and the authority of leadership."
What seems less clear is how we carry that understanding into our organizational arrangements. "We have no working knowledge of what leadership means," said a participant at Whittier. Friends have "both a desire and a pervasive and destructive allergy to leadership which cripples our capacity to take effective, collective action in every sphere," said a Friend in Philadelphia. A Friend in California offered this image: "A boat, one rower, six megaphones." In North Carolina a Friend asked, "How do we lift up, nurture, affirm and support leaders?"
The role of the pastor has been a particular focus of discussion among pastoral Friends. The need for us to develop a clear, shared conception of the pastor's role was voiced from North Carolina to southern California. Borrowed models won't work; participants in several discussions made this point. We need a model of our own: how do we want our pastors to be leaders, what other leadership roles should we have in addition to pastors, and how should pastors relate to these other leaders? A Friend in North Carolina observed the expectations of pastors are not the same from one Quarterly or Yearly Meeting to another, and that creates unusual stress and difficulty as pastors move from church to church.
We have talked about our divisions and how to overcome them. A Friend in Indiana sparked an energized discussion when he questioned whether we should continue to see ourselves together as a single Religious Society of Friends. "Do all of us accept the Lordship of Jesus Christ?" he asked. "Do we continue to honor a unity that is no longer truthful simply because we share a common history?" Versions of his question were asked at other locales, too. "Are you saying perhaps this town isn't big enough for the two of us?" he was asked. While there was tension in the room, Friends settled into worshipful consideration of how we should understand what is essential about our differences and our unity. One participant told some stories about profound spiritual encounters with others whose beliefs at first seemed quite different from his. He urged us "to let God happen. We need to let Jesus walk into rooms with us, and not be too quick to be sure we know who Jesus is."
In New England, a Friend remarked that Quakerism is "the most grassroots religion." Our spiritual understandings arise from groups worshiping together in particular places. "The experience is often beyond words," added another. "We shouldn't be surprised we need to work at translating for one another." Someone said semi-seriously that we could all use a "liberal-evangelical dictionary." Yet another Friend at that gathering spoke passionately about how the spiritual diversity within New England Yearly Meeting was widely perceived among them as a strength and a gift.
Wherever difference and division has become a topic of discussion, young Friends speak up energetically to say they valued opportunities to join with those from other Yearly Meetings. In the words of one, "We are reaching across the divide." The Youthquake gatherings, the various workcamps and other service opportunities for young Friends seem very important and full of growth to them. Young Friends appear to be impatient with our divisiveness and eager to learn from the plural spiritual understandings they find when they come together. Several participants at various gatherings said that we need to affirm young Friends in their efforts, and open more opportunities in leadership for them. "How long has it been since we heard someone say 'I recognize a gift in that child?'" asked a Friend in Iowa.
Across the age spectrum, many Friends resonated to the insight that Friends find greater unity when we work together. Our testimonies are widely seen as important common ground. We need to find more opportunities to join together in active witness. A Friend at New England Yearly Meeting had a different insight, however. "Even more than when we work together, Friends are likely to find unity when we worship together." Do we find enough occasions to share worship across the fault lines of our divisions?
This report on discussions of Among Friends cannot begin to do richness to the worshipful, thoughtful manifestations of the Spirit which were abundant at each of these gatherings. Although there were moments of worry, in the end the discussions were each healthy and affirming. Friends across the country and across the theological divide appeared to value the opportunity to look into the mirror of Among Friends and talk together about what they saw.
We are committed to having the Earlham School of Religion be a crossroads among Friends, a place where we deepen our shared understanding of the core strengths of Quakerism, and a place where new generations of pastors and other leaders are prepared for ministry. At ESR we have also been discussing the report, using it as a lens to see more clearly how the seminary can serve Friends well.
Some decades ago Rufus Jones noted, "The vital question, after all, is whether this small religious society here in the world today is a living organ of the Spirit or not. Is it possessed by a live idea?" This past year's discussions among Friends have answered that question clearly in the affirmative. At ESR we want to be closely connected to the many efforts across the country to make the Religious Society of Friends a living organ of the Spirit. We want to be a place grounded in our belief that God calls every Christian to ministry.
Douglas Bennett, a convinced and passionate Friend, is President of Earlham College. Copies of Among Friends are still available from the Earlham and Quaker Hill Bookstores.
Copyright (c) 2001 Friends United Meeting
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