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Friends United Meeting |
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Quaker Life
May 2002
Bear One Another's Burdens
By Jennifer Frick
Bear one another's burdens,
and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2
Racism is one of the most painful issues that we, as Christians and as Friends, are called to address. In the United States, we have heard about how it needs to be dealt with, how whites and blacks perceive it differently and how wide the separation is on a Sunday morning. When I listen to African Americans, I often hear a tremendous amount of pain and frustration. When I listen to white Friends, sometimes I hear guilt, and often a desire to address the situation, coupled with not being sure exactly how to go about it in their own backyards.
The fact is, this is a terribly difficult issue. It does not just seem hard; it is hard. It leads us right up against fears and discomforts that must be faced, illusions and stereotypes that must be let go of and healed. It can show us hard places and sins within ourselves we never even knew we had.
Two Friends who have an ongoing commitment to address the issue of racism are Steve Pedigo at Chicago Fellowship of Friends and Linda Selleck at High Point Friends in North Carolina. I asked them about their work and experiences in working to help heal these divisions.
Steve and his wife, Marlene, moved into the predominantly African American neighborhood of Cabrini-Green 26 years ago. They started out with Young Life and transitioned to FUM in 1980. Being very deliberate about his work there, Steve has acted as a bridge between parents and school, gone on camping trips, eaten lunch in the schools, tutored, played basketball, worked in juvenile court, led bible studies and helped develop a housing program funded by the city of Chicago, among other things.
"What happens is that you begin to understand your own racism," Steve said. Either you think 'Did I just say that?' or it is pointed out to you. You have to earn the right to be heard. If your motives are sincere, and if you stick it out, people will start to trust and accept you. In order to get to the real issues, you have to get through the ring of frustration and anger about racism and be willing to sit through it and understand it."
In the early years, there were times he felt embarrassed or unsure, but he stuck it out and it got easier. Steve now states, "The only way you develop trust is to stay there long enough for people to get to know you, and you demonstrate integrity and show that you are not going to leave when things get tough."
Linda Selleck, a member of the pastoral staff at High Point Friends in North Carolina, echoed this philosophy. When she and her husband moved back to the south, she knew she wanted to address the divisions she saw around her. "You have to be very intentional. It doesn't just happen; our paths don't automatically cross. It doesn't happen unless somebody says 'I think this needs to happen and I am going to make it happen.' If we can step outside our own perspective and think about how an African-American would hear this, it helps." They want to know, "If push comes to shove, are you in the trenches with us?"
As children, some European-Americans were taught to fear African-Americans and other people of color. Steve comments, "I remember as a young child having fears, a preconceived idea that black people were violent, and 'you will get hurt' or 'they'll steal from you, watch your wallet,' but when I developed friendships, I quickly discovered those notions weren't true."
On a personal level, my experience has echoed this. For a long time, I was nervous about entering into such situations. If you had asked me if I believed such things about African-Americans, I would have answered, no. Intellectually, I knew such things were not true. Yet fears instilled in childhood run deep—"Don't go into that neighborhood, it's not safe. You don't want to go to those schools." These thoughts were almost unconscious until I went to college and began to make friends of other races.
The first time I took an African-American studies class in seminary, I was nervous. Would I be accepted? Would my racism show? Would I say something stupid? I felt really, really "white," which was an eye-opening experience for me. I had never had to think of myself in relation to color before. Yet we were all there to learn together and I was warmly welcomed. Were there differences in experience and perspective? Yes. Did I ever feel uncomfortable? Yes. But if I am too comfortable with my life, I am probably not learning anything! I began some good friendships in that class, and a learning that continues.
Steve points out, "When you get down to the nuts and bolts of things, on a day-to-day basis, people are people. When you stand with people, that brings healing. When you begin to work together in common causes, thatŐs when the racial barriers break down.Ó
I asked Linda if she had any advice for people who want to reach out, but are not sure how to do it. "You have to have a plan that is intentional and you have to communicate it to the wider community and you have to follow through step by step until completion," she answred. "You have to reach out to religious leaders."
For the past five years, High Point Friends has had community choir concerts and invited people from a variety of churches, including African-American. Both the presentation and the audience are multi-racial. The meeting has developed a relationship with an African-American choir, and they are now working on bringing the congregations together to get to know each other better. Other ways of intentional outreach have been increasing diversity at the meeting's preschool, and reaching out and welcoming the local home school association to use the meetinghouse.
The yearly spring musical has an open casting call that draws people from various communities. Linda is very intentional about how and where she advertises to ensure that she reaches a wide variety of people in the High Point community. The simple act of developing friendships can have profound effects. "For me, it's spiritual formation of our kids."
The relationship works both ways. In High Point, the black community reaches out through the Martin Luther King, Jr. program, presented at High Point theatre.
Linda said, "For me the joy of this is a variety of people coming together to reach God. All people who care about worshipping God can come and enjoy this. I am not trying to be politically correct, I am just trying to honor God. We are all in this together. There is a greater purpose here."
Galatians 6:2 states: "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." As part of the Christian community, we are called to help carry each other's burdens. This is part of walking the road of discipleship. Even if we do not have all the answers, we can listen and offer honesty, friendship and support.
The intimacy and ongoing vulnerability necessary for this type of work cannot be sustained by our own power. The vulnerability required by God for discipleship can only be sustained by a radical dependence on the power of God. There can be uncomfortable times in work like this. It can be painful to look at the warts in Quaker history, and it is always disconcerting to feel uncertain where once we felt so sure. Yet it is by the shadow of the cross that we should measure our work. That which calls us closer to this shadow, calls us closer to Christ.
Jennifer Frick is an intern at Quaker Life and a student at Christian Theological Seminary in Indianapolis.
Copyright (c) 2002 Friends United Meeting
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