|
Friends United Meeting |
 |
July/August 2003
Advices for Quaker Leaders:
What I Learned About Leadership Serving as Monthly Meeting Clerk
What I Learned About Leadership Serving as Monthly Meeting Clerk
By Elizabeth Meyer
When I served as assistant clerk and then as presiding clerk of my large monthly meeting, I felt God teaching me how to be a leader among Friends. Distilling what I have learned, I offer the following eight advices for any leadership ministry among Friends, including clerking, teaching and vocal ministry.
Pray: Leadership ministry is rooted in the leader's personal relationship with God. Jesus said, "Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me." (John 15:4b) Prepare for leadership by developing your relationship with God and keeping an active spiritual life. Practice spiritual disciplines daily; worship with Friends weekly. Do not let the busyness of leadership responsibilities displace your prayer life. As a leader, you will need to spend more — not less — time in worship and prayer. At one point while serving my monthly meeting, I became burdened with worries for the meeting and found that my prayer life had become a burden too. I was just going through the motions. When I set apart some time to recommit myself to my relationship with God, my prayer life became a joy again and my worries for the meeting were lifted.
Seek God's will: Put aside your own agenda for God's agenda. Open yourself to God's will so that the Spirit can work through you to inspire and motivate others. Do not operate from a desire to persuade others of the merits of your opinion. Leadership does not come from a desire to control or persuade others. Friends are not likely to be inspired or motivated by someone whom they perceive as manipulative or controlling. They will refuse to follow, and you are likely to become frustrated and embittered. You can lead only if you let go of all desire to be followed. Invite God to work through you. The true leader among Friends is the conduit through which the Lord leads.
I am a shameless evangelist and would love for all Friends to read the Bible daily. Though many Friends in my meeting study and love the Bible, others find it inscrutable. Some bristle with hostility if they feel that someone is attempting to force the Bible upon them. But sometimes while serving my meeting, I felt the Lord leading me to share some scripture that spoke directly to the occasion at hand. Because I was not attempting to persuade anyone to believe in the Bible but was instead sharing as led, my offerings were well received. The unintended consequence was that some Friends felt inspired to take a new look at the Bible.
Listen openly: To lead Friends, you need to have the best possible information, and the best way to acquire this information is to listen deeply, openly and objectively. We humans tend to allow our emotional response to cloud our perception of what is said to us. We hear what we want to hear or perhaps what we dread to hear. We may respond emotionally to the strong emotions of a speaker, taking comments personally and responding defensively to an angry and frustrated speaker. To glean the information needed for leadership, you must listen exactly to what is said. The emotional way in which it is said can provide information about the speaker's feelings, but do not get caught up in a defensive response. When they perceive that you listen deeply and objectively, Friends will seek you out to give you more information. As clerk, I was the meeting's information center. Friends shared with me their plans, hopes and concerns for the meeting. With this wealth of information, I was able to guide new programs and ministries and to anticipate problems. In my large meeting, sometimes all a Friend needed was to know that he had been heard.
Discern your own style: Do not seek to imitate the leadership style of others. Let God show you your unique way to lead. If you constantly focus on what an ideal leader ought to do or say, how can you be open to God's direction? As assistant clerk, one of my duties was to present the queries at monthly meeting for business. Traditionally, our assistant clerk would include a quotation from Friends writings relevant to the monthly query, but one month I felt led to share a passage from scripture along with my own exposition as it related to the query. I was concerned about following this leading: was I overstepping my authority; what would the meeting traditionalists think? However, the leading was so strong that I obeyed. I could tell by the quality of the silence following my offering that I had been rightly led, and I resolved to trust in GodŐs directions. The traditional notions of what a leader should do or say provide us with general guidelines and help us discern God's leadings, but leadership ministry must be rooted in God, acting through us, as unique messengers.
Keep focused on the core mission: When others perceive your effective leadership, they may try to get you to adopt their agendas and concerns. No matter how worthy these issues may be, keep focused on the mission God has given you. A presiding clerk, whose core mission is to discern the sense of the meeting and to seek true unity, should not let the pressures of deadlines draw the meeting into an unseasoned compromise. Similarly, a vocal minister, whose mission is to speak as led by the spirit, should not let the legitimate concern that children have an opportunity to hear age-appropriate vocal ministry, lure her into giving messages that are not truly spirit led.
Be a servant: Jesus showed his disciples how to be leaders by washing their feet (John 13:1-20), and thereby called all Christians into servant-leadership. Leadership among Friends has no place for the self-promoter; it is not an ego trip. Nor should leadership involve an exaggerated show of humility — there is no need to make a point of always volunteering to wash the dishes. Approach leadership in the fear of the Lord, with awe for the work God has given you. When you reflect with amazement that God should choose you for divine service, a genuine humility will arise within. This humility is the basis for an attitude of servant-leadership, and your work will be a labor of love. When I want to be clear that I am bringing a servant's attitude to leadership, I pray the 131st Psalm which begins, "O Lord, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me." (NRSV)
Welcome eldering: Few meetings name official Elders any more, but all thriving spiritual communities have members who serve the eldership function — lovingly guiding and encouraging leadership and ministry. When Nominating Committee asked me to serve as clerk, one committee member jokingly told me not to worry about making mistakes because the meeting would be sure to tell me what I did wrong. He was poking fun at our meeting, but I found comfort in that assurance of eldership. Indeed, meeting members offered guidance that helped me grow as a leader, and the meeting's former presiding clerks regularly met with me to offer advice and support.
Lead: Lead among Friends as the Lord leads you. Do not be so wary of becoming a dictator that you fail to be an effective leader. With God's guidance, take the authority that comes with your leadership position and exercise it effectively.
I had been presiding clerk for only a few months when the tragic events of September 11, 2001, occurred. By that Tuesday afternoon, I began receiving calls from meeting members asking if there would be any special worship in light of the events. This was a Ministry & Counsel matter, and I wanted to consult with the clerk of that committee. But he was the director of a blood organization; the last thing he needed in a national emergency was to be bothered with scheduling worship. So I made the decision to encourage Friends to attend our regularly scheduled, but usually small, Thursday evening worship. I called a member of each meeting committee and asked them to telephone others to get the word out. Friends, reeling from the shocking events, were relieved to make and receive those calls. Our well-attended Thursday worship comforted many, and I learned that a leader has to be willing to step up and lead.
Elizabeth Meyer is a member of Sandy Spring Friends Meeting in Maryland where she has served as clerk.
Copyright (c) 2003 Friends United Meeting
Return to July/August 2003 Contents page