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Friends United Meeting |
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December 2005
by Retha McCutchen, FUM General Secretary
In the first week of school, my first-grade grandson reported to me his experience in negotiation and problem solving. He’s even practicing civil disobedience! His story is that he arrived to begin the new school year to find that they “no longer allow me to use my imagination.” It turns out school officials decided too many accidents occurred on the playground last year, so this year recess is organized—much like physical education. Playing only directed games with limited friends cramped Kai’s imaginary abilities.
“What if,” he said to me, “I want to pretend I’m a tyrannosaurus?” I admit it’s a problem.
Students and parents met with teachers. The meetings continued. In the meantime, students discovered wearing sandals exempted them from the organized races, so my grandsons and their friends began wearing sandals, even in the rain. One must admit it’s nonviolent resistance.
As Quakers, one of our core beliefs is negotiation and nonviolent problem solving. We believe listening through the heart of Christ will bring understanding and that there are nonviolent solutions to problems. What about the decision to recarpet the worship center? Jokes abound about church splits over the color of the carpet, but the reality of such splits isn’t funny. It happens. Splits can happen over which hymnbook to buy, or whether or not a certain person should be clerk.
Spiritual listening means each person enters the discussion with an open mind rather than a mindset to change yours. This is difficult discipline. We bring to the discussion reasons for our opinion, but when we begin to spiritualize our position, the conversation is over. “God led me” or attaching theological interpretation to words quickly leads the discussion into a win vs. lose mindset. Imagination is required to negotiate relationship paths in our spiritual community, our workplace or our family. Imagination and humility.
Blessed are the meek (humble) for they shall inherit the earth. (Matthew 5:5)