|
Friends United Meeting |
 |
March/April 2006
Try What Forgiveness Will Do
By Retha McCutchen
The Mount of Beatitudes is just what one would imagine— meadows sloping down to the shores of the Sea of Galilee. One can easily picture the crowds on the hillside with Jesus teaching in this natural ampitheater. Our group of 16 sat on the hillside (albeit on benches) while Marvin Hall read the Sermon on the Mount from the book of Matthew.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,
…Forgive and you will be forgiven,
…The law says an eye for an eye, but I say turn the other cheek.
Forgiveness is godly. The old cliché—to err is human; to forgive is divine—is old and accurate. It is inaccurate to interpret forgiveness as forgetfulness or to pretend we don’t recognize the offense for what it is. God is capable of removing sin as far as the east is from the west, to remember it no more, but I am not. And neither are you! Jesus did not ask us to pretend we don’t remember or to allow the offense to go on and on. Jesus’ teaching was about a forgiveness that brings healing and change.
Forgiveness was a theme of this year’s pastoral visit to Israel/Palestine. I lived in Ramallah for three years, and have spent another nine regularly involved, but never have I heard the theme of forgiveness to the extent it is being spoken of, worked for and lived out today by both Israelis and Palestinians.
Imagine two men sitting side by side in our circle. One is an Israeli father whose teenage daughter was blown up when she was at a restaurant with friends, the other a Palestinian young adult whose brother was shot by the Israeli military while minding his own business in his village. The deputy mayor of Bethlehem and his wife drinking coffee with our group on Manger Square reliving the recent story of an evening trip to the grocery store with their two teenage daughters: The Israeli military mistook their family car for one reportedly belonging to suspected terrorists and opened fire. A 13-year-old daughter dead, dad alive with nine bullets in his body, and the 16-yearold daughter shot in the hip before the military realized they made a mistake.
Each of these three related their heart-breaking story and their immediate feelings of anger and revenge. Then they told about a member of Parents Circle (www.theparentscircle.org) visiting their home, offering condolences and understanding because that parent had also lost a child to the violence. But the parent also offered another response to the situation—one of forgiveness and reconciliation between Israelis and Palestinians through shared loss.
Our Israeli guest was open about his hostility. Why would I share my grief with people who carry out suicide bombings? Of course, he soon realized the people as a whole aren’t involved in the violence of suicide bombings any more than all people approve of their country’s military tactics. And the process of forgiveness begins. One on one. Listening to the story of another with the commitment to caring.
All of these grieving people stated that if sharing their stories side-by-side saves one life, they have accomplished their purpose. Last year teams from Parents Circle, which always include both an Israeli and a Palestinian, spoke in over 1,000 school assemblies in both Israeli and Palestinian schools. If an Israeli teenager can see the depth of despair and the example of what forgiveness can do before he or she graduates from high school and is placed in the army, or an angry Palestinian teenager meets an Israeli as a person for the first time, it may affect their willingness to vilify an entire population over the actions of a few, and save lives. It is seeing the humanity of another.
Parents Circle is not a support group; it has one focus—to tell the story that killing is wrong, will not solve problems nor bring peace. They firmly believe peace in their context is not a political solution. It is one person getting acquainted with another and respecting what Quakers would label “that of God” in each other. Jesus told us that this works!
Reflecting on these stories makes most of the offenses committed against me, of which I can readily offer a list, seem inconsequential. These people spoke forgiveness from a deep well of grief. And it was powerful. It reminded me of Corrie ten Boom forgiving the Nazis who abused women in a concentration camp, during World War II.
Are Friends ready to forgive, respect and participate with those who do not believe or practice faith according to my interpretation? As General Secretary of FUM, I regularly receive personal condemnation over FUM’s sexual ethics policy, both for and against. We even have Friends sending angry letters and withholding money from what the General Board describes as God’s work through FUM because of their disagreement with the policy. Following the July Triennial one church removed its membership from FUM because the subject of homosexuality was mentioned. And others are threatening to leave FUM if the policy changes or does not change. What happened to love? We have a right to our differences. We all support and work with organizations that have statements or policy with which we disagree. It’s a part of life in this world. The strength of FUM arises out of the diversity that challenges each to stretch our thinking and to forgive and love through and around differences. Friends, if we aren’t willing to be involved with those whose opinion on sexuality disagrees with ours, we’d better become recluses. If you can’t support FUM because it is either too liberal or too conservative, give your funds to Evangelical Friends Mission or Friends General Conference. They do excellent work. Of course, I believe FUM, with our diversity, is the very best investment for your funds.
It is my personal belief that if I strongly disagree with a position of an organization, I can remove myself or stand aside. Disrupting ministry would be a rare calling. Those fighting slavery did more for their cause by hiding slaves and participating in the Underground Railroad than the angry fights and splits that took place. Those who could not tolerate the intolerance (and I’m talking about both sides of the issue) moved on. Prejudice against a prejudiced person is the same as prejudice against a divorced person or a couple living together outside marriage. Smile. We all carry prejudice around.
Forgiveness...
What I learned is how much more there is to learn. And it became abundantly
clear to me that listening to God will not lead to hurtful actions against
others. Friends from every persuasion would do well to invite a team from
Parents Circle to talk to your group. They travel worldwide with their
stories—Christians, Jews and Muslims. Admittedly, I was ashamed that one
person expressing this level of respect and forgiveness stated he was
not religious. I want to believe Christians, with a faith in God through
Christ, would be in the forefront of forgiveness.
Retha McCutchen retired at FUM General Secretary in February, 2006. She now lives in Portland, Oregon, near family.