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Friends United
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November/December 2008
A Visitor is a Blessing
By Eden Grace, FUM Field Staff in Kenya
At the FUM Triennial in July, the question was asked whether it would be more ethical to save the huge cost of the plane fare (not to mention the carbon impact of air travel) and just send money rather than making a visit to our project partners in Africa and other parts of the world. After all, that money could do so much, could pay so many children’s school fees and buy so many much-needed medical supplies. Isn’t that the better thing to do?
My answer: “No!” And the answer of all the Kenyans I work with: “Just come!” Come visit us. Come to Kenya. Please don’t stay away.
Our project work is built on a spirit of partnership, which is grounded in Christian fellowship. We must know each other, visit each other and share each other’s experiences in order to faithfully do the work of God together.
In African cultures, just as in the culture of Abraham and Sarah in the Bible (see Genesis), a visitor is a blessing to the whole household. A visitor is an angel in disguise, leaving encouragement and joy in their wake. The opportunity to host a visitor in your home is a tremendous privilege.
A visit changes both the visitor and the host. It is an opportunity for exchange and sharing. It can lead to very uncomfortable situations all around — and that’s good! We should be stretched as we encounter difference. Some of us need to learn to use a squat toilet, and others of us need to learn to host a vegetarian. Intervisitation brings us all together. Just come!
Of course, intervisitation can challenge, stretch and change us in much deeper ways as well. It was during my first trip to Kenya, in 1991, that I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I had been a Quaker for many years, but it was the evangelical joy of my Kenyan sisters which brought Jesus into my life. Ever since that experience, I’ve been convinced that cross-cultural travel is one of the most important investments we can make with our lives, and our money.
There are so many meaningful ways to visit among African Friends, and now that FUM has an office in Kenya, we who are there long term can be an “anchor” for short-term visitors. In the four years that I have been here as that anchor, I have assisted an amazing array of visitors. We’ve had young adults backpacking around the world, delegations from the United Society of Friends Women (USFW), medical students on rotation, theological students on supervised field education, manual labor work teams, Alternatives to Violence Project (AVP) facilitators, women called to ministries of prayer and healing, pastors called to preaching, college students discerning life direction, families with children seeking a mission exposure and several retirees who spend a few months each year with us. What an incredible stream of people we’ve seen! Each one has had a unique experience, and we’ve been able to assist them along their way. I love that part of my job!
If you’ve already been to visit us — thank you, please return! To the rest of you — just come!
You don’t have to know why exactly you are coming, as long as you sense God leading you to visit. And you certainly don’t have to do something “useful” or “important” in order to justify your trip. In fact, the least successful trips are those in which overseas visitors come with a well-formed idea of the work they want to accomplish, and proceed according to their plan without sensitivity to the actual needs “on the ground.” The best trips are those designed around listening, relationship building, fellowship, mutual learning and walking alongside those who have dedicated themselves to the ministries of FUM. These are the visits that have the biggest positive impact on our Kenyan partners. These are the visitors who truly leave our Friends feeling blessed and encouraged.
Of course, this runs counter to our American culture, which tells us that we have to be doing something useful at all times. Our culture teaches us to be go-getters and problem-solvers. In many ways, these are positive traits. However, in cross-cultural partnerships which span huge disparities of resources, it can be very disempowering for us Americans to jump in and start solving the problems we see. It is much harder for us to hold back, listen sensitively, encourage the creativity of others and seek mutual empowerment. It is downright excruciating to witness a dire human need that can be met with a trivial amount of money from our pockets. Yet witnessing may be the higher calling in that circumstance. Handing out money doesn’t solve the systemic problems, and it may actually make the immediate situation worse rather than better. This heartbreaking self-discipline is one of the most important ways that we Americans are stretched when we travel. We have to learn that we have more to give than our money, and that our very presence is a precious gift to our hosts.
Of course, FUM’s project partners need your money, and I would be the last one to discourage you from giving it! But for our projects to truly be based on partnership, we need your love as well. We need your presence. We need your witness. Just come!
Eden Grace has been FUM field staff in Kenya since 2004. Eden has a Master of Divinity and has served in numerous leadership roles within New England Yearly Meeting and Friends United Meeting. Eden is very much an international Friend, serving as FUM’s representative to the World Council of Churches. Eden and her husband, James, are living with their family of two boys, Isaiah and Jesse, in Kisumu, Kenya. Eden works in FUM’s Africa Ministries Office alongside John Muhanji, as FUM seeks to enhance its ministries of evangelism, leadership training, communication and global partnership in the African context.