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Getting a Clue about the Fine Art of Pastoring

By Frances Kinsey

His fast pace complemented his clothing: jogging shorts, athletic shirt and shoes, hairy legs and bare arms. He reached past me for the sign-in sheet, tossed his parking ticket towards the hospital receptionist, and said, "Clergy parking privileges." No "please" or "thank you" softened the moment.

As he trotted off towards the elevators the volunteer turned to the receptionist and asked, "Are you sure he's a pastor?"

The answer, "Sure he is. Only a pastor would have the nerve to ask for clergy parking privileges dressed like that."

Later, I stood behind this same pastor as he ungracefully spoke to the cafeteria cashier, "Hey, remember me? I'm a pastor. Don't forget my discount!"

This poor man did not have a clue as to the content of his nonverbal message. I was greatly relieved that he was not a Quaker. I would have acted on my compulsion to offer him some advice-whether he wanted it or not.

I do not know the quality of his pastoral care. It may have been exemplary. I do not know the eloquence of his bedside prayers. He may have brought a healing touch. So, what's the point? The beauty of his presence was obscured by little things. His Christian witness suffered because he forgot common sense and courtesy. Isn't that enough to give us concern?

What can we do about such concerns? We could blindly deny that any Quaker pastor would lack common sense or courtesy. We could say that this is the "small stuff" that we shouldn't sweat. Or, we could boldly look further into social and professional conduct that erects barriers to effective pastoral ministry.

Friends have always had concerns about pastoral ministry. The clergy of George Fox's day had earned a reputation for being "professors" without being "possessors" of the faith. Their Christian witness was damaged by their association with corrupt social and political systems. Their pastoral presence was marred by a presumed authority that came with divinity degrees and ordination. Early Friends reacted to this sorry situation by lifting up the theological truth that they were called to be "a priesthood of all believers." No man or woman was exempt from the call of God to be a minister. That call did not depend on social standing, economic resources, or academic degrees. It depended only on the will and grace of God. Friends valued the direct relationship between believers and God. Thus, any Friend, inspired by the Holy Spirit, was free to bring a message in worship. Pastoral care was done by the elders. Even the merest suggestion that Friends might have a need for designated pastors was met with corporate hostility.

Before the end of the 19th century new concerns regarding the proper methods of ministry arose. From the outside, the revivals of the day brought spiritual renewal and social upheaval to quiet Quaker meetings. From within, Friends struggled with the disappointing quality of spoken ministry and spiritual care. Out of this ferment our pastoral system emerged. It was unsettling in the ranks. To this day some Friends still consider the notion of a Quaker pastor to be an oxymoron. To the rest of us it remains a theological mystery. As long as God keeps calling men and women to serve as Quaker pastors, as long as local meetings keep finding clearness to accept pastors, we must address this question: "Given our history and our theology how can Friends properly support and nurture those called to be pastors?"

Friends have finally accepted an academic approach to nurturing pastors that includes these options: seminaries, Bible schools, correspondence courses, and training and recording programs. These give opportunity for building strong foundations. However, they were not designed to provide guidance on adding any finishing touches. Traditionally, we have relied on a strictly experiential approach to the polishing of the gifts of ministry. This has meant that our successful pastors have had to learn a lot of things the hard way. It has also led to a high rate of drop-outs, burn-outs, and put-outs from the ranks of those called to serve. We cannot continue to neglect the "small stuff" when it is so damaging to individuals, to local meetings, and to our witness in the world.

FUM's Pastoral Leadership Task Group recognizes that the call to pastoral ministry does not depend on social standing, economic resources, academic degrees, or professional polish. It depends only on the will and grace of God. This is who we are. We are called, however, as individuals and as the Religious Society of Friends, to be stewards of these gifts and opportunities. We are called to make the way as smooth as possible so the Gospel can be communicated through both word and deed. Our committee has responded out of these assumptions. Polish without substance is fakery. Substance without polish is negligence. Either option damages our Christian witness to the world and mars our pastoral presence in the local meeting.

We will be offering an intensive series of pastoral workshops from January 19 to 25, 1999, in Richmond, Indiana on the Earlham School of Religion campus. We are calling this program: "Getting a Clue: Gaining Confidence as Pastoral Ministers." Experienced Friends will lead in their own areas of giftedness. We will begin with a review of the social graces and then present ways of refining our pastoral gifts. We will brave those touchy areas of administrative details, legal concerns, authority and accountability. We will spend time exploring the "ins and outs" of pastoral transitions: how to get a pastorate, how to keep it, and how to leave it. We will focus on relationship building skills. We will reflect on how pastors can take care of themselves and their families in the areas of time, money, physical health, and spiritual well-being.

This intensive experience will be supplemented with a self-guided study and with an opportunity for establishing on-going mentoring relationships. There are plans to make this program available throughout FUM.

Look for more details in the coming months. Pastors, even veterans, consider this an opportunity to become better stewards of your pastoral gifts. Meetings, consider sending your pastor for this great opportunity. May Friends everywhere hold in prayer those called to serve God and the Society of Friends as our pastors.

Frances Kinsey, pastor of Gray Meeting, Western Yearly Meeting, is a member of FUM's Leadership Task Group.

Copyright (c) 1998 Friends United Meeting

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